Means to an End

I'm Back... For Now

2008-05-07T11:37:00.002-04:00

been a while, huh? so cliché, but that's how all my entries start after a long ass hiatus. so i had to get the formalities out of the way.

so much has happened since 2006. i moved... thrice. i finished school. i reconnected with some old friends. i disconnected with some old friends. i got another tattoo. i've been to jamaica, the bahamas, and back to jamaica. my hair has grown. i lost 25 lbs. i gained 20 of it back. my car passed the 40k mile mark. i got a part-time job. google has become an intricate part of my life. lol... i guess that's it.

so i originally stopped blogging because i ran out of 'public-friendly' things to say. i think this still holds true. i have SOOO much to say because i am an over-thinking, nit-picking, analytical person. however, it would be inappropriate to air most of my current thoughts or concerns via the world wide web. therefore, i'm experiencing a conundrum. i must create cryptic entries to fill this 'online journal' of sorts. you missed me though, i can tell. so i'll see what i can come up with.

i have goals that need to be fulfilled. this has been on my mind as of late, because i'm running out of time. even though i am in my mid-twenties, and still considered a baby to most of the population, i am behind schedule. several things must happen by my 33rd birthday.

i must purchase a home.
i must have a child. preferably 2 children or more.
i must own a business.
i must earn my project management certification.
i must make at least $15k more than i make now.
i must have my plans finalized for going overseas when the cicadas come back.

the first 3 goals will aid in my annual tax deductions. uncle sam is currently screwing me and i must put an end to it.

i must have a child because i love children, and honestly i want to see what an extension of me would look like. and if it's a girl, i wanna play in her hair. i'm also looking forward to playing childhood games such as red light-green light, freeze tag, ring around the rosie, miss mary mac, slide, and jumping double-dutch.

by earning my project management cert, this should also aid in the 5th goal of earning more money. i'm actually thinking about going back to school for my phd as well. i just have to find someone/some organization to fund that journey. i refuse to pay to further my education at this point. i'm fully willing to go back to school, but it absolutely must be on someone else's dime.

i must avoid the cicadas. i believe it was summer 2004 (or 2003? i'll google it later) when i came face to face with thousands of cicadas. they were everywhere. i didn't see my mother for the whole summer because her house was surrounded by them and i refused to go over there. no, they don't bite. yes, some people play with them. yes, people eat them. (ew, by the way) i don't care. i'm not interested. i don't like things that fly and attach themselves to my person. therefore i will be out of town during the summer they make their next appearance. which is 17 years from whenever they were here last. who's with me? lol

2006

2006-01-02T22:57:00.000-05:00

so one semester down, 3 to go. i haven't written in here in a minute. lately i find that a lot that goes on in my life is not meant for the public eye. so it kinda makes it hard for me to write in here, because there's much information that i'd rather just keep to myself. but just to keep you up to date...

work is going good. we went through a re-org so now i have a new boss, and he's cool. things are goin pretty good at work. there isn't much work to do actually, so a lot of my time is spent checking my email over and over. when school was in session, i did my homework at work, but now the semester's over, so i just read books at my desk. surfing the net gets tiring. i guess i'm actually quite bored at work now that i think about it. eh. moving on.

so i made a big purchase. i'm surprised at how i haven't really been "spreading the word" i'm on this whole motto of: if you see it you see it. if you don't you don't.

i live with c&t now too. i dont know if i mentioned that before. so i'm not on campus... i had to get away. i had been there for over 5 years, and i was getting seriously burnt out by the umbc life over all. so now i'm officially a commuter which is great. now class is like a job... when it's over, i take my ass home. and home isn't a few feet from where class just was. so i actually like it this way. i live in crofton and i love that too. its pretty convenient. and i'm quite enjoying the situation that we have created here. its like i have inherited brothers. that's how my mom put it, and i agree.

i'm gettin sleepy. more to come later.

Grad School

2005-10-07T09:20:00.000-04:00

i stay busy. i really do. and we all know how much i love to sleep, so this whole busy thing is really kicking my ass.

classes are going well. i have 3 classes, 1 of which is an independent study. i enjoy that because i'm not down with sitting in class all damn day, so i only have 2 instances when i have to do that. and so far in both my classes, i have an A average. gotta keep that up. i'm pretty sure i'll get an A in independent studies... i just gotta get to reading all those supplemental materials dr. komlodi gives me. goodness, its a lot. it's work man.

so now the question is do i complete grad school with a masters, and start living my life... or do i continue through for 3 more years to get my phd. i was so gung-ho before about getting it, but then when i talked to my advisor and she actually started outlining my classes, and projecting the timelines, i was like ehhhh. i dunno. i want to, but i feel burnt out. i want to just live and not have to worry about readings and tests and shit. i want to chill. i've been in school for most of my natural born life (as all of us have, i'm sure) and i'm kinda tired of being the "over achiever." 2009 man. that's when i'll be done. i'll be old. and just getting out of school. and what the hell am i gonna do with a phd in information systems anyway? i could teach... i kinda always wanted to teach anyway. again, i dunno.

the longer i stay in school, the longer my loans are deferred. hmm. thats some incentive. if i can get someone to fund my phd path, then maybe i'll go thru with it. i dunno.

oh and i'm locking my hair now. i'm gonna start another blog to show the progress. its quite interesting. its been 2 weeks and its already startin to lock up. lol... nappy ass hair i guess.

oh and TIVO... the greatest thing ever. i got one now. its wonderful. i got the one that has a dvd burner on it so holla... i can make you a dvd of your tv shows. for a dollar of course :)

i dont really have much else to say... a lot is going on, but not anything i really wish to broadcast on a blog. i just wanted to mildly update the world on the superficial things in my life. unless you're one of my homies... if thats the case, inquire within.

Transitions

2005-08-17T11:09:00.000-04:00

goooooooood morning!!! it's good to be here :) i'm so loving and living life to the fullest right now. good things are happening and i couldn't be happier. it seems everything makes me happy and i'm on a high right now that i probably won't come down from for a good month. besides the bullshit that i'm goin thru at work with this chick that once held the title of supervisor, shit is gravy.

this will probably get a little lengthy now because i have to condense about 2 months into one post.

let's go back about 3 weeks. MY BIRTHDAY!! let me just say that i had a fantabulous time that day and the following week. my friends and family are the best. and when i say that, i ABSOLUTELY mean it. we chilled on friday (my birthday eve) and brought the day in quite proper. then i woke up with a headache so i slept in for as long as i could. my mom came by and gave me my birthday cake that she makes from scratch every year (german chocolate... mmmm). we went to a few stores and she bought me a new memory card for my camera. we came back to school and mr. tony came thru to say happy birthday before he whisked her away to some sort of concert. so i went back to sleep for a little while before chris and terrell came over to take me to the mall. chris got my phone covered at that phone stand outside of FYE. we walked around the mall and went to see rafeal at the tmobile store. he gave me a free car charger and pink bumpers for my sidekick to match the cover that i was getting. we then had drinks and appetizers at duclaw. then we went back to school. and when i got there.... SURPRISE!! myra, rea, ryan, ari, andrea, sean, angela and my mom and mr. tony were outside waiting with balloons and candles set up on the picnic tables outside of rea's apartment. i went inside and there was a large spread of all types of food and a cake with purple icing on the borders and winnie the pooh which also had a picture of me on it. maaaaaaaaan, that was the greatest. more people came thru later and i had the greatest time.

then i had to snap back to reality for a bit so i could pack. it was late as hell, but we were leavin on a plane at 8am the next morning to go to vegas so i had to get my shit together. i slept on that whole plane ride. i'm glad we didnt have any lay overs on the way there.

vegas was the bomb dot com. me and myra were livin it up for a week. the first day we got there (sunday) we slept the whole day away because we were so jet lagged. the next day, we stayed in the hotel room for a good part of the day with our robes on, watching movies and eating room service. haha... givin em drama. we hit the casinos, lost a bit, then won big. we took advantage of the free drinks while gambling and we learned to play 3 card poker to get a more money from big daddy vegas so we could do some shopping. we found tight ass sales on shoes and bought multiple pairs. we ate at the buffets and went to the different malls. we went to get tattoos on the inside of our wrists, but i chickened out. we met robert townsend and took a picture with him outside of the cafe in our hotel. we went clubbin at caeser's palace and partied on the roof overlooking the strip. man, i had the greatest time. it was so relaxing and fun. i was pooped by the time we got back so i had to take that monday off work to recoup.

then things were back to normal for the most part.

oh and now we're back together. that's right. round 2.

chris and t are finally moving into their house soon. the house they live in now is damn near gutted. there's no longer a comfy black couch to fall asleep on as soon as you walk thru the door. we have to sit on the fold out chairs until the big move. i think we move in next friday (haha... i said "we") they'll be in crofton but i won't be far behind because my aunt says that we're gonna start lookin at houses in january. or maybe condos. we'll see.

i started moving out of my place in terrace seeing as how the summer is coming to a close. luckily i didn't have to move home after all... that would have been a pain. all the driving to and from work and to and from school. i don't think i would have been able to handle it. the way things are working out now is perfect because i still get to stay on campus, but its in a grown ass way... not in the res life way.

that's another thing. i'm so excited to be done with res life it's not even funny. the shit ends on friday and i'm soooo ready for it to be over. i just gotta man the desk friday 9am - 8pm, then i'm out this biotch.

now school starts in 2 weeks and i just found out that i have received a fellowship from the IS department! yessss. this is grand. so now i'll be getting my doctorate and i will be known around these parts as dr. j. :)

and you will address me as such...

Grab Bag

2005-06-28T10:41:00.000-04:00

so let's talk about my recent addiction. shopping. it has got to stop. it can't be healthy mentally. it damn sure aint good financially - i know that much. so my problem started about 2 months ago. hi. i'm j, and i'm a shopaholic. and i believe jen is partly to blame.

it's all good though, because i've gotten some cute shit recently as a result of my little problem.

my birthday is coming up soon! aren't we excited? i know i am. i'm not going to send out the mass email this year though. i figure if you care... you'll remember. point blank period. i'm gonna be in vegas for the 8 days following my special day. so i'm excited about that as well. me and myra are gonna be doin it up at the venetian hotel livin it up like we must do. i'm thoroughly excited by the possibilities... just think of the all shopping that can occur! oh there we go with that problem again.

so i thought i had strep throat, but as it turns out, the problem has something to do with a virus or something. so evidently, penicillin is what fixes this. however the pharmacy didn't have all the pills that were prescribed to me, so they gave me 1/4 of my medication and told me to come back the next day after 12. lordy.

thats one reason why i have to leave early today.

also i'm so very tired. well, i'm not so much tired... more like, i just wanna lay down. i wanna lay and do nothing. my body is exhausted. however, these are not complaints; just facts. it's summer time. if not now, when? tru, tru.

my throat is hurting a little less now thanks to the penicillin. drugs. gotta love em.

i can't believe the july 4th weekend is already damn near here. damn the summer goes by so fast.

i have this knot on my head like somebody took a baseball bat to it while i was sleeping. wouldn't i remember such an event though?

so i'll probably get my next tattoo sometime next week... or just before my birthday. this one will be the last one for the next 5 years or so. i need to stop now while i'm ahead. i like tattoos, but i dont like the look of abundant tattoos. i'm not sure if that makes sense... right now i have a few, so this one will make a few +1, even though it will be more like a few +1, -1 cause its gonna cover up one that i already have. actually i think i'm gonna start researching that now.

i blinked and almost fell asleep just then.

again, i'm feelin good, feeling great. i'm sastified. i love it. and i need more of it.

Nothin Much

2005-06-17T11:51:00.000-04:00

ok so i've finally decided to do it. do what? update my blog. that's right. i know that i've been away for a while. so much has happened since i last wrote in here, that i just kept putting it off because i didn't know where to begin. since i didn't know where to begin, i kept putting it off, and more stuff continued to happen and it made it harder and harder to decide what to put in here.

i know... its not that serious. calm down.

so... first and foremost: I GRADUATED!!! yes that's right... i am now THE bachelorette of science :)

graduation was exciting. my mom and mr. tony got there really early and saved a whole row of seats in the front row near where i was sitting with the rest of the soon-to-be graduates. it was great because the row was filled with my family and friends. and they were so close to me, so when i looked over i saw them. they made me stand up several times during graduation so they could take pictures. hilarious. the actual ceremony was so f'in long tho. information systems was the second to last degree to be called on stage. i felt like years passed before my name was called, but it felt so good when it was finally my turn. afterwards, my family/friends took many many pictures (if you wanna to see them, email me and i'll send you the link to the album if i haven't already done so) and then we went to dinner at timbuktu. all of which was great. afterwards the older family members went home and my friends and i went back to reagan's to chill, play games and watch chappelle show season 2. all in all, graduation was a great day. good times, good times.

now, i'm the desk manager in terrace. my last hoorah (spell?) as a res life emloyee. i've given them 2 summers and 2 school years as an RA, 1.5 school years as a desk staffer and now a summer as a desk manager. i think i'm subconsciously in love with res life. actually, its just because they're the easiest people to work for. i worked at health services for a while too, but i had to quit that because it was getting in the way of my school work. they actually need you to work during your shift as opposed to just sitting at a desk watching people walk by. basically while in school, it's ideal to have jobs where free time is ample during work hours, so in the end, you're getting paid to study.

simultaneously, i'm back to the full time schedule at nasa. it's coming along. now i get my one day off a pay period, but my pay checks have increased dramatically because of my increase in hours, so i'm pleased. now i'm just waiting on my raise and everything will be all good.

what else is goin on... that i can share with the world...

um... oh. my baby is getting fatter. we love fat babies so that's always a plus. look at her now! she's 5 months old in this picture.

i'm so content right now, so i feel like i have nothing to say. i have nothing to contemplate because everything is peachy keen. i have nothing to complain about because i'm happy.

oh, i got a new tattoo.

Same Ol'

2005-05-10T22:59:00.000-04:00

so it's been a while. haha... i feel like thats how i start off all my entries. once the summer comes, i feel as though i'll have more time to write in here. but now... it feels like i'm always on the run or somethin, and i just don't have time.

i don't even have time at work anymore. i'm being forced to work. it's all too much at one time.

7 days til the end of classes, and 25 days until the end of undergrad. i registered for my grad classes yesterday. that felt goooood.

so, at this point, i've stopped caring about grades. i'd have to say that i wouldn't be TERRIBLY upset if i got straight c's. hell, i still get a damn degree, so really it's whatever. i kinda want to beat a certain somebody in the cummulative gpa department, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen. :( plus it's late in the game to be trying to raise gpa's and whatnot, so i'm kinda givin up on that one.

there's always grad school tho... so, it's on...

so i have a problem with talking on the phone. i been using my minutes well before the month ends. and i have 1000 minutes a month. in addition to the unlimited night and weekends. 1000 should be plenty right? well dammit it ain't. i called tmobile the other day, and the representative took pity on me and gave me 75 bonus minutes. i had exactly 1 minute left til my cycle ended. (i had a whole week left) so she gave me the 75 minutes this weekend. which means they didn't go into effect until monday (yesterday) and guess how many minutes i have left from that? 19. nineteen frickin minutes left. i really need to learn to stay off the damn phone.

but i love to talk... so maybe i should just make my plan higher... eh. more minutes = more money. what a damn dilemma.

so now i'm thinking instead of taking 2 weeks off after school, i'm gonna take a week and 1 day. this way i can go to vegas the week after my birthday. this time i'm going for much longer so i can do more and gamble more. i like baccarat now, so i'll see how i do with that one in vegas. i need to learn 3 card poker tho. that's where the real money is. who else wants to go to vegas? lemme know...

did i mention that i got the desk manager position for the summer? so i'll be spending my last summer here. i haven't been home since i started here: summer 2000. no, i lie. i went home for winter and spring break that school year. but after that, i always found a way to stay on campus. nothing against home, but there was always somethin. this will be my 3rd summer working for res life. ugh. how lame.

it's getting late. i'll have a more interesting entry as soon as more interesting things happen. i promise.

Busy Body

2005-04-25T12:46:00.000-04:00

i like devin the dude - which prompts me to change the song i'm feeling (to the left). he's funny.

this weekend was great. i felt like i was on the move constantly (and that usually tires me out) but this time it was ok.

thursday night... i went to the party at the fish head cantina, chilled afterwards and ended up going to bed at the time that i shoulda been leaving for work.. almost 6 in the mornin. so needless to say i stayed my black ass at home on friday.

friday afternoon... i went to my SCI 100 lab to work on our group project with my fellow team members. we each had to collect samples from various bodies of water on campus and do tests on them in the lab. i had to climb down underneath this overpass to get my sample. i thought i was going to fall and die, but i didn't so all is well. we finished the tests, did the damn thing and were out. i love productivity.

friday night... what did i do friday night? my memory is failing me. oh ok, i remember. me and jg just chilled all night, watching tv for hours... this is not what's supposed to occur on a friday night, but oh well. we was chillin. sometimes it feels good to do nothin and just catch your breath. i think we left the house at one point to do somethin... clif came wit us, but i don't remember what we did. oh... the liquor store.

"my memory is about as long as a peanut" says flava flav. i feel the same way at times.

saturday mornin... had to wake up early for my appointment at the day spa. 8 o'clock in the frickin mornin. but it was well worth it :)

saturday night... i had to go home to go to this dinner party for one of my friends from elementary school. she turned 21. that's exciting for her. my 21st birthday feels like it was so long ago. we gettin old man. that dinner party lasted forever though. we got there at about 7, and didn't leave until 11:30. i had fun, but i was too tired afterwards. saturday was also sdot's birthday... i do love birthdays. come to think of it, i don't know why i even drove home, when i coulda just went straight to bowie where the party was. all that extra drivin, damn. hindsight is 20/20.

saturday night (cont)... was a night well spent.

sunday... had to go to the NAACP freedom fund dinner down by my house. so i had to pack up and go back home again. this time in full business attire. dr. hrabowski was speaking at the banquet/dinner. that was my mom's motivation for buying the tickets. he is a great speaker though. absolutely wonderful. he gets everybody motivated and really feel what he's saying.

sunday night... came back, chilled with tiané and friend, did the damn thing, then i went the hell to sleep.

monday... is happening now. i am so tired. i didn't sleep much at all this weekend. at least, not in large chunks of time. it was more like spurts. so now i'm tired as hell and i think i'm gonna have to go take a nap somewhere. this is why i need to move down here close to work. if i lived like 5-10 minutes away from here, then i could just go home and lay down for a lil while and come back rejuvinated. (i think that's how you spell that) but i know me, so living close by could also be dangerous because there will be many a time that i just wouldn't come back to work.

lemme go take my lunch break now cause i'm seriously bout to fall asleep at this damn computer.

brb.

ok so i'm back. i needed that. i went shopping. some for jg, some for me. i am now back to life. just waiting on my meeting at 2 so i can leave work after that.

so why is it so cold outside? i mean it's wear-a-coat weather out there and i don't understand it. i'm gonna need an explanation.

i'm in a weird mood. not good, not bad. kinda blah. why is that?

Can't Wait.. I Can't Wait

2005-04-17T11:02:00.000-04:00

it's funny how if you look at people's AIM profiles everybody who's graduating this semester has something about May 26th in there. whether it's a clever play on words, a short poem, or just the date, it's in there. so its not just me. everybody is excited to be done. 5 weeks and 4 days baby!

i haven't been up to anything much as of late. i've been doing everything besides my school work and i need to turn that shit around. i have a serious case of senioritis and i don't know how to shake it. when it gets this close to the end, i lose all focus. i'm so concentrated on the actual end that i just... don't want to do shit. i really don't want to do a damn thing. it's like senior year in high school all over again. i don't even know how i got through that one.

look at my baby girl!

she's getting big... gotta love the babies - but from afar. for the longest time i had my life planned out and thought that right after i finished grad school i would get married and have 2-3 kids and a dog. bullshit. i don't want that anymore. don't get me wrong, ultimately nothing will make me happier than having a family of my own... but in due time. yes i'd like to start all that by or around 30... but not so early in the 20's. i realize that it's important to have "me time." i need to have my chance to be totally selfish. i need to be able to travel at the drop of a hat, or buy those outrageously priced gucci glasses or have my 2-door coupe with the top down and not a care (or a kid) in the world. in due time i say. in due time.

my girl sdot writes poems. she's great at what she does. it's like what she writes, i've felt at one point or another. i believe this is one of hers.... it's called "maybe"

maybe u love her
maybe she's the one
maybe she's what u want
maybe she's what u need
and maybe that scares u
but maybe its ok
maybe she feels the same way
maybe its not perfect
but maybe its worth it
and maybe u'll never know
cause u didn't let it show

it's a classic.

shout out to sdot and jaybird!!! :)

ok so i have a lot of shit to do today. gotta find some shoes for this banquet i'm going to next sunday. and i still have to swim and buy the stuff i need (random things that should be kept in stock around the house). plus i gotta make some time for a stop at crown.

i need to just go head and invest so these frequent trips become unnecessary.

Holdin It Down

2005-04-01T10:39:00.000-05:00

"I wear socks cause my feet sweat and if I didn't wear them, I'd slide around in my shoes cause my shoes are too big cause I like to keep things in them."

good ol' Jim Thomas. i came across that quote from his lectures and had to share. for those of you that don't know, JT is a philosophy teacher here at UMBC. he's quite the character.

graduation is now 7 weeks and 6 days away! just wanted to keep you all updated. i've ordered my "announcements" and they should arrive shortly. the excitement within me is great i tell you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MYRA!!! we're like halfway to old now. but... still, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

:) i love birthdays. they're great. the best way to make them last longer is to celebrate the night before. if you do this, then you'll most likely be surrounded by those you love/like/slightly care for when the clock strikes midnight and its officially your birthday. you'll continue to celebrate/party the night away and then you'll go home in an innebriated stupor (or high off life - it's up to you). you'll go to sleep all happy because you just had a great time with your friends. then... you wake up the "next day" and guess what? it's STILL your birthday!!! yes. it's absolutely the only way to do it. whatever plans you have must include a celebration the night prior to the actual day.

i can't believe johnny cochran died. this is making me feel like i'm an adult. i know there seems to be no correlation here, but hear me out. it seems lately, "significant" people have been droppin like flies. (excuse the euphemism) now, these people aren't all dying from shootings or "preventable" deaths per se, and that's what makes me feel old. johnny cochran, barry white, ray charles, john ritter, odb, johnny carson, lamont bentley (hakeem from moesha)... the list goes on. see, these are all basically common names. and when i was younger, and people died, it didn't hit me because i didn't really know much about those people anyway. but now, when people die, its like "damn, for real?" cause you feel like you know them, and... i don't know. maybe i'm not explaining this well. but i'm sure you get my drift.

ll cool j is funny to me.

i get to see my baby this weekend! i'm excited.

this damn swimming class is getting on my nerves. i'm starting to get bored with it all, and the fact that i actually have to swim twice a week every week til the end of the damn semester... ahhhhh!!! (that's an angry yell) well, i don't actually swim, so we'll use that term loosely. i still have to get in the water though. and thats a pain. it's the whole getting dressed afterwards that kills me. cause you're still like half wet, and no matter how hard you try to dry, your skin still don't feel right. it must be the chlorine. i wish i had known that you can take the same PE twice and it counts toward your requirements. i woulda just took bowling twice. that shit is already over for the semester. yay for early ending classes.

what do you think about Jesus? seriously.

last night i went to this diversity program for staff development. reslife introduced new requirements this semester for the paraprofessional staff where we have to attend one program a month hosted by the CD's. (my opinion of this change will remain neutral.) however, last night was great. the program was well-thought-out and i enjoyed myself. we got into some pretty deep discussions about the difference between "black americans" and "african americans" (meaning the difference between the american black people and the black people whose families came here from africa) we also discussed the way the gay population is treated, the way asians are perceived, etc. we touched on a bit of everything. it was a really good program. almost everybody had something to add to the discussion, and people really got into their roles when we did the role-playing part. kudos to the organizers. i have to admit, i was skeptical going in, but pleased coming out.

i got to chill wit kb last night too when we went to myra's thing. i haven't seen her in like forever. it was great tho. back to old times. our schedules just don't match up at all right now cause she's busy workin and i'm busy tryin to finish school. plus i feel far away cause i'm in bmore and she's down here in pg. its only like a 25 min drive tho. so we're just gonna have to get up wit each other more often.

i feel like i have so many items on my to do list and very little time. this weekend is about to be real hectic.

Good Spirits

2005-03-17T11:39:00.000-05:00

i know i know... its been a while. but i've been busy and stressed as hell.

i had 4 tests, a paper and a lab re-write do this week. my 4 tests ended yesterday afternoon (same time that my paper was due) and my brain has been on break since then. i refuse to think until school is back in session after spring break.

happy st. patrick's day! feel free to start getting drunk at any time.

my life has changed... for the better i'm thinking. i kinda retired. that decision came from a mixture of things. we won't go into all the ingredients of that mixture, but what's weird is that my cousin influenced me in a way. thats weird because my cousin is not exactly the most responsible person in the world. but he had a good point. he's the one with the baby girl that i have a picture of a couple of entries back. anyway, he's gettin older... 22 now... so i can take heed to what he says. you're right trey.

star jones has lost a lot of weight. she looks like a tootsie pop now though. her head is rather bulbous.

i cut my hair recently. well, i've been cutting it, but i've had it in braids so you couldn't see how short it was getting. but now all the perm is gone and i'm rockin the bush like my mama. everybody says i look more like my mom now, which is cool cause she's a pretty lady :) i'm getting used to it, but i didn't really like it at first... i was kinda leery as to how the "public would react" haha... but who cares. its MY hair. shit.

so... spring break... plans anyone? everybody keeps asking me where i'm going. i'm going to sleep dammit. i plan to lounge around and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. i mean, yea i'll go out and prolly hit up atlantic city right quick (gotta love that free money) but nothing is planned. and that's the beauty of it all. i'm off school, i'm off work, and i have no schedule so when i say "it's whatever" it's really whatever. if it's 4am and you wanna do something, by golly by george, LET'S GO!! i'm excited. i love big chunks of free time.

sooo what else? umm... ohhh! i bought my cap and gown this week!!! that was exciting as hell. i mean, i already know that i'm graduating, but it's actually starting to materialize, you know? i got my 2005 tassle and i was wearin that shit on my coat button. advertisin to everybody that i walked pass... "I'M GRADUATING!!!!" hell yea baby.

annnnnd.... i got into grad school :) yay for me! i got my acceptance letter earlier this week. my mom read it to me over the phone. and when i say she read me the letter, thats what i mean. LITERALLY. i mean, she didnt just read the first line that gives me the gist of the decision they made. nooo, not my mom. she's so into detail. she read me the whole 2-3 page letter including future requirements and orientation information.... it was so unnecesarry, cause i really just needed the one-liner that said i was in. but hey, thats my mommy. gotta love her.

ugh... my stomach is hurting now. i think i have cramps or somethin (yea tiane i know, tmi). prolly from some shit i did that i know i shouldn't have done. anyway...

so besides that... shit is going pretty good right now for me. look at this list.

got a good job
doing ok in classes (could be doing better, but lets not forget that i'm lazy - plus c's get degrees!)
graduating (after 5 long years)
got into grad school
i'll get my raise once i graduate and give nasa my acceptance letter into grad school
got a fat ass refund check from good ol' uncle sam
paid off my credit cards (well, theres still like a $300 balance on one of them, but dammit it used to be $2300+, so i consider that paid off)
turned in my application for summer staff (cross your fingers)
on my way to buying my house by the turn of the year (prolly by february 2006)
and i'm finally enjoying myself

lookin good baby. lookin good.

Damn Senioritis

2005-03-02T16:48:00.000-05:00

so i've let the demon go too far. it has contaminated my ability to think. that demon is senioritis. the semester is half over, and all i can think about is how i'm bout to be out. but i won't be on the way out if i continue to NOT do my damn work. don't get me wrong, i'm doing good so far. but if i keep up this last minute shit, it's gonna screw the hell outta me. yea i can do homeworks in the final hour, but tests? that's another story. that's where i have dropped the ball in the past. i need to get outta this rut.

damn i'm lazy.

so now i love macaroni grill. i keep finding new things to love. oh, but i don't love teramasu (is that how you spell it? oh well... you know what i mean) macaroni grill may not be new to you, but it is to me. one of my friends works there. that's always a plus. free drinks and desserts all around! haha.

you might see me in the street but shawty you don't know me
when you holla when you speak, remember you don't know me

lovin TI right now.

there's spanish rap? ok. i wasn't aware of the development of such.

tina had her baby! we love tina. i still can't get over the fact that tina and big bro have a baby. that's just craziness. it was just a couple years ago that they were both along side me at good ol' umbc. he is cute tho. i saw him when he was 3 days old. newborns are so tiny. his nickname is deuce, because he's a junior. big bro gave him that name. awwww! babies :)

i have a plan. really, it's more along the lines of a scam, but i can't explain it here cause then... well, that just wouldn't be smart.

did you used to have a nokia? i did. that seemed so long ago. that big ass one that had all of 1 extra button besides the number pad... haha. 5165? i think that was the model number.

i don't know what made me think of that.

aight. enough procrastination. i'm gonna go shower and then do some damn work.

No Snow

2005-02-25T10:38:00.000-05:00

what's the deal?

school closed early yesterday, thanks to the snow... we shoulda closed earlier, but i won't complain.

bowling ends next thursday, which is great for me cause now i'll only have one class 10-11:15am, then i'm done. it's cool cause i can just go home on thursdays. home is where the heart is. home is also where a lot of my friends are.

i need to start putting more energy into going home often cause there ain't shit up here for me besides school. once my clases are over, why stay up here? so, unless i'm on duty or i have a program...

i love watching maury. i don't know why - it's like a toned down version of jerry springer. the paternity tests are the most interesting. how these women have so many candidates as possible fathers of their baby is really crazy. having doubts about 2 - maybe 3 men... that's more understandable (although not condonable). but 5 men or more? got damn. you musta been busy as hell that week.

i gotta go swimming today. i'm glad this class can be done at any time, as long as you swim a half hour 2 days a week. but at the same time, it's startin to get on my nerves. but again, i won't complain. comlaining solves nothing. it's not like i will miraculously be exempt from taking the class or some shit... so - moving on.

this weekend should be fun. i'm gonna go chill wit the homies down south and just get fucked up and go out. that's what i need right now. i just don't feel like thinking any more. it takes up too much energy.

i'm tired. not sleepy, but tired.

Hitch Pitch

2005-02-16T11:13:00.000-05:00

my bad yall... i know i probably faked you out yesterday by changing the date in my profile prematurely. i had all intentions of making a spectacular entry during my 10am class, but i got caught up doin a favor for somebody that took much longer than i thought it would. no need to fret - i'm here now!

this is the first break i took since i got here this morning. the work just keeps coming now, and they have short term due dates, so it's not like i can bullshit for a month then get crackin at the last minute. i'm working closer with our actual customers now... creating and updating web pages. when they ask for a change to be made, i like to give them a less-than-a-day turnaround. even though i'm in the government, our branch is running a business, so i have to be on top of it.

needless to say, i'm drained and tired. i feel like there's a whole rack of shit that i have to do, and no time to do it in. hell will start in a couple weeks once my classes have the deliverables due for group projects. i hate group projects. out of the 4 academic classes i'm taking, 3 of them require me to have groups. bahumbug.

how was your valentines? mine went ok. i got flowers. (thank you very much, feel free to keep 'em comin... haha) i've never received an arrangement of flowers before. i love firsts.

can canned tuna go bad?

we went to see hitch last night. have you seen it? it's an ok movie. i mean, it's very cute.... a very good valentine's day movie. will smith was funny. and so was that dude from king of queens. some of the stuff was a little over the top... but hey - it's a movie.

i have new pictures of the baby! laila marie. my baby cousin. i went to see her this weekend. she's almost 2 months, and she has the fatest little head. she's a good baby though. she kept falling asleep on my chest. it's a cozy feeling when a baby sleeps on you. ain't she cute?

well, i've been breaking for about 20 minutes now. i gotta get back to work so i can lighten my load for friday. ahhh friday. i can't wait.

Feelin Good, Feelin Great

2005-02-11T08:28:00.000-05:00

i think it's funny that a lot of my blog titles come from songs. just goes to show how important music is...

so ma dukes is startin to slip back into mommy mode. i just got off the phone with her, and she's just being extra right now. she wants to know when i'll be physically moving in, when i'll be bringing my stuff in, etc. she said that it will be a culture shock for the both of us - which is true. i'm starting to think that i might should move in with my grandmother though. nothing against my mom... but i'm thinking about all the crap that i have and i'm thinking that my grandma's house would be more accomodating. i have a little bit of time to think about it.

gotta go see my baby this weekend. i'm excited.

my grandmother says that she's gonna get the truck fixed so i can drive it. i'm excited about that too. i'll make sure that she gets a move on it. it's supposed to be ready by next weekend.

my boss friend is going on a cruise this coming week. man, i wish. i would love to be surrounded by the beautiful carribean weather instead of this harsh windy ass weather we're having now.

my credit card debt is slowly dwindling. i'm pleased. we're still in the thousands, but trust me, it's much better than what we started with.

damn, nobody works on fridays. it really seems like there's nobody here. i've been here for over an hour now, and i've only seen one other person. there's not much work for me to do, because i finished it all on wednesday when i was here. i have to leave early today anyway so i can take my boss friend to the airport and give her her mp3 player. i'm sure it will come in handy during the trip.

i was thinking about getting an ipod shuffle. how do we feel about that? eh... i think i won't get it. i can't keep buying everything i want just because i want it. i must begin to practice some restraint. priorities man. i gotta keep reminding myself of my priorities.

i really can't wait to get the 4runner from my grandmother. i hope she comes thru for me in a timely fashion.

i'm bout to start reading ahead in one of my textbooks because it's so boring here. NOBODY is here dammit. i think i'm gonna take off next friday. we get the monday after that off anyway, so it will be a 4-day weekend. yea i might have to do that...

so last night i reconnected with a friend that i hadn't talked to in MONTHS. and that's a long ass time when you're used to conversing on a daily basis. anyway, i just decided that enough was enough and to call him. so i did. and we talked. and everything's cool again. we gotta catch up now. so let the partying begin. haha

i'm feeling motivated. i'm feeling at ease... comfortable. clear-headed. feelin good, feelin great.

i've learned that it's easier to deal with things once you get used to them.

The Wire

2005-02-09T11:53:00.000-05:00

so far, so good. 15 weeks left, and i'm still hanging in there.

now i need to start thinking about what i'm going to do with my room at home. i wanted to redo the middle room, which is the room i had orginally, but my mom was sayin somethin about makin it an office. so now i have to stay in the guest room, where i slept all through high school. don't ask. i have 2 rooms basically, but the middle one is filled with clothes. i'm gonna have to invest some serious time into re-organizing.

i'm thinking living with my mother won't be so bad. at first i was slightly opposed, but we get along great now, so i don't really foresee any problems. i'll be staying there for a short period of time anyway, (let's keep our fingers crossed) so there should be little to no issues. i'm actually excited to go home. i haven't been home in so long. like actually BEEN home... not just run in for my mail, or stop by to stay hi. i haven't LIVED there since winter break, freshman year. and here we are 4 years later...

i need a distraction. any out there? i'm glad school started again, because it keeps me busy. and i have a new boss at work now. she keeps me busy as well with all these new assignments and whatnot. it's cool though, i need to be put to use anyway. they need to get the bang for their buck, so i do my work in the morning when i get here, so i have the rest of the day to myself. i try to get everything done while i'm here, so when i telecommute (on tuesdays and thursdays) i won't have much work to do then. that way i can spend my time doing other things.

swimming is going good. (did i mention i was taking swimming? - well, i am) at first, i was apprehensive to the whole thing because i hadn't been in a pool since God knows when. but after the first time i got back in, it wasn't so bad. now i'm supposed to be learning how to swim for real from an actual swimmer, but we'll see how that goes. i can tread water well, so i guess that's good enough for now.

and i'm taking bowling now. that class is... a waste of $6. that's right. it's $6 a pop. every tuesday and thursday. but the good thing about that class is that it ends on march 3rd. so i'm not gonna complain too much about it, because i'm always up for a class that ends early.

the underwire on my bra broke. i don't know how, but it cracked in half... maybe in the washing machine. i noticed it was bent when i put it on, but i didn't think nothin of it. now the shit is sticking me in my rib and irritating the hell out of me. yea, this is a lot of information, but it's important that you feel as though you're right here with me, so i must paint a vivid picture.

i can't wait til its time to go to vegas. i feel like everything that's far away has got to be better than what's here. the grass is always greener on the other side, right?

Ahead of the Game

2005-02-07T18:13:00.000-05:00

it feels like i haven't written in here in a long ass time. seems like forever.

i've been keepin busy now that school has started back. had to go through RA training again FOR THE LAST TIME... which wasn't too bad this year. we went to see the holocaust as a group. it was a sad experience. i'm not too sure why they made us go through that, seeing as how it was really an individual trip. there was no tour guide and no group activities besides reading the posters on the walls. it was a good learning experience though. last time i went to that museum was in 8th grade. i don't think i really appreciated it then... it was too much for me to handle.

then school started last week. i'm goin out with a bang. i'm tryin to get straight a's this semester. i've only done that twice since i've been here, but those were both summer sessions. i know i'm capable of gettin a 4.0 during the school year, but i get so lazy. damn i'm lazy. i be lazy and sleepy. sleep is becoming my enemy. i'm trying to hide my laziness this time though. i'm on top of my game. so far i'm doing my homework the day i get it, and i read the chapters for my classes ahead of time. i know, i know - this is all shit that i shoulda BEEN doing. but hey, i'm not perfect. there's a lot of shit i shoulda been doing... but we won't go into all of that.

the damn patriots won the superbowl. do you ever make bets with yourself to determine the outcome of things? like... if you're tryin to make shots of balled up pieces of paper into the trashcan while you study, you'll say to yourself "if i make this shot, i'll get an A on this test." i do that crap all the time. with everything. i made a bet with myself on who was going to win the superbowl. needless to say, i lost. the eagles weren't comin through for me. mcnabb just didn't bring his A game. so now i have to suffer thru these next 3 months because the patriots won and the eagles lost.

i'm gonna make magnets to announce my graduation. i think it's the cutest idea. that way my family/friends can keep the memory on their fridge and look at it everyday. how special! i'll show you an example soon as i finalize them.

well, lemme go back to payin attention in this class. i do love the computer lab classes. they're so conducive to multitasking.

Bring it On

2005-01-25T14:24:00.000-05:00

i feel like when shit happens to me, it happens hard. it's as if there's no such thing as mediocre. either things are extremely good or extremely bad. let's take a guess at which one we're experiencing now...

some changes need to be made. one of which is the power that i allow others to have over my moods. i emphatically refuse to let others determine how it is that i will feel. i've allowed it so far, so the only one to blame for this infraction is myself. it's cool though. it's all good over here. one of the biggest parts of life is learning. and that's what i'm trying so hard to do. i'm trying to learn from my mistakes. one of the biggest mistakes i've made so far is trusting others with my thoughts, my feelings, and my well-being. the only person you can truly depend on is yourself. lately i've just been getting my feelings hurt left and right because i left myself open for such. i wasn't willing to understand that ain't nobody thinkin about me like i think about them. that leads to another change that will be made effective immediately. my selflessness will be converted to selfishness. i'm tired of playing the "victim." i'd rather play the part of the "bitch."

hmmm. maybe not the "bitch"... maybe more like the "bitch's cousin" - who is generaly a good person, but has cold-hearted tendencies when necessary. yes. i like that role much better.

now that we've temporarily found a solution to that problem... i'm going to move on and get rid of the melancholy behavior.

i got to work on-time today. got here at 6:05am. that's actually 2.5 hrs early, but i'm tryin to get here earlier so i can leave earlier. i'd rather have a full afternoon than a lazy morning.

my neck hurts.

i'm going to get something dazzling done to my phone today. i'm tired of looking at the same gray exterior. let's see how this turns out.

i gotta go home and get my other w2 so i can get my taxes completed. a friend of mine's father does my taxes, and i'm quite excited to see what it is that will be returned to me. i need it returned to me in a prompt manner, seeing as how money is something we could all use.

dammit, i forgot about buying books for the upcoming semester. i'm taking 6 classes, 2 of which are pe's. i wonder if you need a book for science 100... i'll check on that.

i just applied for graduation. i can't believe it! we're nearing the end people... we're nearing the end. all those of you that aren't graduating this year, probably think that i'm talking about it too much, but if you were so close to finishing, you would understand. i totally wasn't feeling it last year when the seniors/super-seniors were walkin around talkin about how they were almost done. i always thought "big deal." but now that i see it from their point of view... now that i'm sooooooooo close.... oh it's a BIG DEAL alright.

and i better see you at the ceremony too. don't make me come after you.

Friends... How Many of Us Have Them?

2005-01-23T13:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday
so it begins. the snow. i keep hearing different amounts that we're supposed to be getting. the point is, that it's gonna be a lot. we'll be snowed in, so it's the perfect opportunity to get fucked up for no reason. break out the liquor.

i'm watchin this sweet 16 thing on mtv. these girls are so damn spoiled. i just don't understand. i know if i had it like that, i wouldn't act all "holier than thou." don't get me wrong, i would make sure i had whatever i wanted, but i'm not the kind of person that's extra into the name brands and stuff. if i had money like that, what would be more important to me is getting what i want when i want. like, if i'm in the mall, i can buy what i want. it doesn't have to be gucci or prada or coach. does it sound like i'm hating? cause that's not it. i really just wish that other people could have more as opposed to a few people having it all. especially when those few don't appreciate or realize how lucky they are. however, when they do appreciate the abundance of monetary funds they possess, then i'm ok with that. because then it's understood that how you live is not the norm.

i dunno where all that came from.

winter break is winding down. thank goodness. i'm getting sick of the full time work life. it's so ugh. i understand that's how it works. you need a job to be able to do anything, because you need the money and the benefits. but sheesh. can't i just sleep?

Today
so i no longer know who my real friends are. again, i have to stop and evaluate who is worth it. everytime this shit happens it makes me mad. why can't you just do what i do for you? you expect certain things from me as a friend, so why is it that you can't do the same for me? fuck it. my friend list is gettin shorter and shorter by the day, while my associate list gets longer. it's ok. it's all good. the Lord only shows you what he wants you to see. sometimes i close my eyes to it, but now they're wide open. i'm too through. that's the final fuckin straw.

it just added to a horrible night last night. i got too drunk and threw up like 3 times and wasn't able to go back to sleep until like 5 in the mornin.

i just don't feel like writin no more.

Pieces of That Puzzle

2005-01-18T14:25:00.000-05:00

HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY TARA!!! i still can't believe your ass is going to south america for 2 years. got damn.

so let's talk about how i've been working (literally) ever since i stepped foot in here this morning. now i know you're probably thinking "so what." and if you're thinking that, then you must not be a friend of mine. because if you were, you would know that i try my hardest to do absolutely nothing. in this case i have no choice because a massive amount of work was dumped in my lap as of last week and i must finish it by the end of january. good luck to me.

i'm excited. school's startin soon.

i'm so tired right now... i think i'm gonna take a nap in the handicapped stall in the women's bathroom. i could use a refresher.
.
.
.
.
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ok and i'm back. nothin like a quick nap during the work day to get you back on your feet. that's another reason why i can't wait til i get my house. i plan for it to be down here near work, so durin lunch, i can just take my ass home and go to sleep.

oh to live alone. how wonderful that will be. walking in your residence, knowing that everything is as you left it... knowing that you can do as you please, when you please, where you please for however long you please... heavenly. and that is the one part of life that i simply cannot wait for.

i went to the movies last night. coach carter was inspirational. it was very cute.

does the general population floss often? i know i don't. i need to though. i was thinking about getting my teeth professionally bleached, but i don't want them to look artificial. plus that shit is expensive and i just don't got it like that.

i'm not a perfect person. just thought i'd share, in case you thought otherwise.

have you ever been seduced before? do you know what it feels like? it's like you have no control over what's going on. it feels like... you're just goin wit the flow, but you're not really aware of what that flow is. it's like your mind shuts down and you're just doing what feels right to your body. it just feels... so good. now you want more. i know i do.

"it's bout time we get together. let's dance now, hook up later; we can do whatever..."

there's much more to me than the eye can see.

I Like Myself, I'm Worth A Lot

2005-01-14T13:56:00.000-05:00

guess what time i got to work today. 11 o'clock. and its only 12:46 now, but i'm ret to go. i be lazy on fridays. i don't know why it is, but in my mind, it's already the weekend, so i'm not in the working mood. it's hard to get me motivated to do anything productive on fridays... just for future reference.

i rented this movie from blockbuster called "employee of the month." i had never heard of it before but christina applegate and that dude from "saving silverman" were in it (the one that had the rodent business) and there were a lot of copies of the movie there so i figured it would be good. and it was. i wouldn't say it was spectacular per se, but it was pretty good. i liked the ending. good endings are very important don't you think?

i had a manager's meeting last night for black alley i think that we're going places. the band is supposed to be performing at all star weekend in february, but it's still up in the air as of last night, so we'll see. i hope they do get to perform because if so, i get to go. and i'm on the hunt so this would be the perfect setting for all that. haha... yes, yes it would.

annnnnd, they're throwing a party in my honor after i graduate. yessss. i'm not sure which club it will be at, but i'll keep you posted.

there's nothing dramatic going on in my world at this time, so i don't have much to say.

Too Blessed

2005-01-13T15:32:00.000-05:00

ok ok... so i have a bad habit of good intentions. what's wrong with good intentions, you ask? well the bad part comes in when you don't follow through. i am always there for the big things, but for the little things (especially if it's for me) i slack at times. case and point: blogspot. it's not for you, it's for me. and i need to write more. it makes me feel better when i'm having bad days.

but then again it's hard to put my feelings into words when i'm that upset. i'm not upset now though. i'm content. not the best place to be, but also not the worst. i'm too blessed to be stressed. i just need to work on believing that all the time.

so. although i'm excited as hell to graduate, i'm also scared as hell. the scary part just kicked in... yesterday. shit man. i'm bout to GRADUATE. yes, i have a job, and yes i have an idea of the possibilities of future schooling, but... damn. you do understand that once undergrad is over, you are viewed as an adult? you can argue with me til you're blue in the face, but that's what i believe. yes we're all over 18, so TECHNICALLY we're already adults, but once you graduate from college... once you hit 22 or 23 years old... childhood is over and done with. i'm not ready to be an adult per se. let me re-phrase that. yes, i'm ready to reap the benefits from adulthood, but i'd rather go without the responsibilities. like... paying bills. haha... yea that's my biggest issue.

i want to buy a house in the next few months. my aunt (who also doubles as my real estate agent - need a house? holla at me and i'll patch you through to her) told me that i need to be able to afford $1500 a month for mortgage. $1500 a month? got damn. so yes, it's doable. but i'll be sittin in my house doin nothin because i won't have any extra money to go out or have fun or even eat. i definately must have fun. i must. so instead of this summer, we're looking at january 2006. stay tuned for the house warming invite.

so i'm into that star song by the roots. i do love the roots. always have.

oh and my computer is working now! well actually, it isn't working, but i have a new one. new to me. so far it's a free computer. i called the previous owner so i could give her some money for it, but she still has yet to call me back so i guess she don't care. no problem. if she doesn't care, then neither do i.

i have a gmail account now. i feel kind of important. because you can only have a gmail account if you are invited. the "importance" of it all will soon fade with time. but for now i feel like i'm some sort of hot shot. bear with me.

i have a meeting today at 4pm. that sucks because i was tryin to dip the hell out at 4. i have another meeting tonight at 10, but it's not at NASA. it's in DC, so i wanted to go back up to school and take a long ass nap cause i know i'm gonna be up all night. them boys can talk. yes and i might be at all star weekend in february. i'll find out all the details to that tonight. i might have some conning and buttering up to do in order to go, but i'm sure it will be worth it. somebody owes me money anyway... we won't name names (hint hint) but i'm sure it will cover the cost of my air fare.

ah well. lemme transition back into work mode so i can continue to blow these people away with my unmatched skills.

love you lots! until next time...

Like A Penny With A Hole In It

2004-12-29T15:48:00.000-05:00

seems like it's been a while. life has both ended and begun since i last posted my feelings.

my mom's college roommate's father-in-law passed away a few weeks ago. at first i didn't want to go to the wake because i didn't know him, but my mom told me that you go to wakes/funerals for the living not for the dead. and she's right. yes, some of your motivation to go could come from the relationship you had with the deceased, but a lot of your motivation should come from the relationship you have with the living that are suffering from the death of a loved one. it was sad. i had never been to a wake before. and i've only been to one funeral in my life. i don't come in contact with death often, and for that i'm both blessed and grateful. i was glad i went to the wake though. i was able to show my support physically instead of just through a card.

and then... my cousin trey had a baby girl on christmas eve. her name is layla marie. she's almost 2 months premature i believe. she weighed 4lbs, 8oz and she's still at the hospital now in the incubator. she's so cute... and i usually think newborns look funny. but not this one. not my baby cousin. she's so cute and tiny.

it kinda sucks to be "grown up" with a job and all. i feel like i'm missing out on the college life sometimes. a big part of college is SLEEPING. haha... well maybe you don't think so, but you know what i mean. i want to be able to do what i want to do, when i want to do it. i hate having an agenda. we don't have classes again until january 31st, and i should be livin the life right now, but instead i'm stuck at work. what kind of bullshit is that? don't get me wrong, i enjoy my job and i'm grateful for the opportunity, but damn. can i live?

i need a get rich quick scheme. any suggestions? this one ain't workin fast enough.

so christmas went well over all. i spent a lot of money on gifts (as i stated in a previous entry) but i also received a good amount of gifts, so i think it was worth it. gotta give a little to get a little. anyway, wanna know what i got? peep the list below. i made oatmeal cookies for my grandfather and will make drapes for my grandmother in the near future. i got my mama and mr. tony a tv for the kitchen cause the old one broke. my gifts made people happy and the ones i received made me happy.

lovely christmas cards
money
earrings
coat
luggage
clothes
purple picture frame
purple jewelry box
massage chair for my car
neck pillow
journal
automatic starter for my car
perfume
gift certificate to a spa

i chilled with my cousin for a bit (not the one that's a daddy now, but his brother). we did what we always do when i go home. good times. my grandfather noticed for the first time that i have a tongue ring. i've had this piercing since may 27, 2003. "what does it mean?" he asks. it doesn't mean anything. i like it, so i got it. then he asked me to promise him that i would take it out after i graduated. i told him i'd think about it. i mean, yes, i want to please my grandfather and do as he wishes; however, i don't see the big deal. if i am ready to part with it by may 26, 2005 then yes i will take it out. but if i'm not, then i won't. there will be another graduation. my graduation from grad school. that should be may 2007. i could take it out then. but sheesh. if he's acting like this over the tongue ring, then imagine how he'd respond to the... other stuff.

"until the end of time, i'll be there for you. you are my heart and mind. i truly adore you. if God one day struck me blind, your beauty i'll still see..." adore is a classic. prince is a genius.

i've been feelin kinda empty lately. like a part of me is missing. i know what the problem is, but i have no idea how to fix it. at this point, i don't even know if it should be "fixed" or if it's even possible. time will tell.

so... i joined a book club today. how nifty is that? haha. nifty. ok i apologize for that word choice. anyway, the book club should be interesting. i like to read. especially now since i have so much damn time on my hands. i need to pick up a book cause all i've been doing is watching dvd after dvd. at least i got caught up on the whole first season of nip/tuck. and let me tell you, that is a good show. i was skeptical at first, but i have seen the light.

you love me don't you.

Allow Me To Ponder

2004-12-15T13:04:00.000-05:00

"you, therefore

have no excuse

you who pass judgment on someone else

for whatever point you judge the other

you are condemning yourself."

Romans 2:1

my goodness. i'm bout to go crazy. do you know how much money i've spent on christmas? tis the season dammit. but now i'm bout to go into bah humbug mode. this shit is crazy. why am i acting like i have money? why am i acting like i'm rolling in it? shit. credit cards are the work of the devil. some shit's gonna have to go back. i'll see if the receiving matches up with the giving before i make any drastic decisions. this is why you must keep all receipts.

i can't help that i love to give. don't get me wrong, i enjoy receiving as well. but the look on people's faces when you give them something they really wanted, or something they really like - that they didn't even know they wanted... priceless. i know it sounds corny, but that's honestly how i feel. i love making other people happy. it makes me happy to see the people i care about happy.

don't mistake my kindness for weakness though. some people do. that's most definately the wrong conclusion to come to.

today is the first day of me chillaxing. well, i have a few christmas gifts left to get and some birthday gifts to exchange, but other than that... i'm free. no commitments after work. well, at least none that i can't get out of.

why don't you come entertain me in your free time? call ahead to schedule an appointment.

i think i'm gonna change my hours at work. i'm gonna make it so they expect me to come in later. so when i come in "late", i'm on time, and if i come in earlier, then i'm "early", so i can leave early. i think it works out for the best this way because i'm not gonna do nothin but just continue to oversleep. for some reason i just can't get my ass to bed at a decent time. i'm always stayin up with the homeys, thinkin i'm gonna miss somethin or when i do actually go to bed "on time" i'm awakened outta my sleep by random visitors.

oh i wish you could feel this feeling i feel. i wish you could understand the absolute glee that is in my heart right now because i'm almost done with undergrad. 5 years. 5 looong years. i know i'm gonna miss college once it's all over, but right now, i can't see that far. i just see the near future which is me gettin the hell outta undergrad and the hell off this damn campus - which i slightly hate by the way.

so lately i've been contemplating whether i should try to call my used-to-be-good-friend. i was gonna call on thanksgiving (holidays are always a good excuse to talk to someone you haven't talked to in a while) but i realized i erased his number out of my cell phone. and no, that wasn't malicious on my part. he is the one that has the beef with me, not vice versa. weeks... no, actually MONTHS have gone by and we still haven't talked. i can only do but so much. therefore i erased his name out my phonebook. fixing things shouldn't be one-sided. i refuse to continue to call someone that won't return my phone calls. i still don't understand how our friendship could end so abruptly... and over A GIRL at that. ah oh well. if it ceases, it was never real... right? so i guess it was all a figment of my imagination - for 7 years... damn.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2004-12-14T13:45:00.000-05:00

"i've discovered a way to stay friends forever -

there's really nothing to it.

i simply tell you what to do and you do it"

shel silverstein

guess who was late to work today!!! guess who didn't go to work yesterday!! haha. this shit needs to stop. my new year's resolution will be to get to all events on time. i can get to meetings and class on time, but when it comes to dragging myself out of bed all early in the damn morning... i don't know. i just lose all motivation. it goes right out the window.

and somebody COULD HAVE called to wake me up this morning. but they didn't. thanks. i hope you were late too.

i'm just kiddin...

i used to be in love with lorna doones. i no longer enjoy the once delectable shortbread cookie. i don't know why that is. things change i guess.

and when the hell do the girl scouts startin selling their merchandise? does anybody have a girl scout in the family? i will be in need of somoas and thin mints. contact me if you have the inside scoop.

i have to study for my last test which takes place today at 5:30. if you ever need to take philosophy, jim thomas is your man. he's the greatest teacher because he actually makes sense. it's fun to go to his class because he relates the lessons to the real world so you can really understand the concept. i took 100 and 152 with the man and he's still doin the damn thing.

so here it is, dec 14th, and i'm 85% done with christmas shopping. i think i'm in my fourth phase of christmas in general. or maybe its the fifth. allow me to explain - my theory on christmas is that we go through about 7 phases on how we feel about christmas, based on our age.

first phase: we're babies, so we don't really know what the hell is going on anyway.

second phase: we're children and we look foward to christmas from thanksgiving day, if not sooner. we're excited to see presents under the tree, we can't wait to take pictures with santa, and we love the week off of school and playing in snow.

third phase: we're adolescents, but we stil look foward to getting presents. we now have to think about what we're going to get others, which could be hard, because most likely there isn't an abundance of funds for extravagent christmas gifts. we no longer believe in santa... you realize it was your mom all along. we're still excited about the week off of school though.

fourth phase: we're young adults. christmas has become somewhat of a routine. we know that its time for family to get together. we know what mom is gonna say at dinner. we know what grandma is gonna get us and when the christmas tree will go up (if we still have one). the gifts start to diminsh... more gift cards and cash are given. who knows what to get a young adult for christmas? nobody. your christmas list is longer due to the things you have to buy as opposed to what you want to receive. the money still isn't there yet though... you want to chill with your friends more than your family. that time off for christmas is longer than a week now.

fifth phase: we're older. your friends have kids now. you have a bit more money. so you shop more for others. christmas is still routine, but you dont mind it. you go home, chill with the family, and you're on your way to go out or do as you please with no complaints because you're grown now. you don't necessarily look foward to christmas, but you don't mind it either. unless you like to decorate and send out christmas cards and such...

sixth phase: you have kids. christmas is all about them. this is kinda overlapped with the first and second phase because your kids are living through those while you're watching. your motivation is to make your kids happy and get what they asked santa for. you drag your children to take the christmas pictures and to the family events so everybody can see how they've grown.

seventh phase: your kids are grown and you may have grandkids. you're pooped. just pass the egg nog (with plenty of rum) and watch the holiday go by.

either way, i'm ready for school to be done so when i come home from work, i can chill all the way out and not have to worry about somethin being due or some test to study for.

what do you want for christmas?

All That I Can Say

2004-12-09T10:03:00.000-05:00

today is alan's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALAN!

so maybe life isn't all about being happy. maybe it's more important that you're content. who knows.

yesterday was fun. my group completed our final presentation in our systems analysis class. i think it went pretty well. there is this dude in the class that sits up front and always has some shit to say about everything the teacher or anybody else says. while we were trying to fix a slight problem in our presentation before class started, that dude was there and he kept commenting on what we should do and how we should do it. first of all, he didn't know what the hell the problem was in the first place, so how can you offer advice when you don't know the whole story. second of all, shut the hell up. so he started saying how we should have done this, and should have done that. then one of my group members just looks up from the computer and says "how bout you stop being such a smart ass" and then goes back to working. it was funny.

we got a 24.5 out of 25 on that presentation. i don't think the teacher likes that dude either.

after the presentation, i planned to study, but instead went to supreme's and chilled. i was so tired, but i didn't go to sleep because i was too busy playing minesweeper.

last night was the terrace hill buck auction. matt from res life came out to see how it was gonna turn out. i am proud to say i'm a part of this community. the program went smoothly yesterday and it seemed people were enjoying themselves. we gave away good prizes too... umbc stuff (t shirts, sweatshirt, umbrella, mugs, etc.), fleece pillow/blanket sets, really nice cookie jars with pre-packaged cookies in them, a coffee set, smores kits, body lotion/wash sets, dvds, cds, and a 13" tv. there was more, but i just can't remember right now. all you gotta do to earn more money is to attend programs. we'll see how it goes next semester. i anticipate an even greater turn out.

of course i wanted to go to sleep after that was over. the auction lasted about 2 hours. sheesh. but i had to do jen's hair real quick so she could have crinkles. i didn't mind too much though. if i wasn't sleepy, i wouldn't have minded at all. that's what friends are for.

we were gonna go to the store afterwards, but i chose to pass out in my bed instead.
oh yes... my bed. my lovely bed. did we talk about how i changed my room around? and how it's a brand new room with brand new possiblities and brand new curtains. i love it. you should come see it. well... call first because i need to filter thru the requests. :)

and my throat hurts. but i have thera flu to take care of that. i wanna take it now to relieve the pain, but i wil surely fall asleep at my desk and that will be the end of that.

2 more tests to go before this semester is done.

Ain't No Feeling Like Being Free

2004-12-04T11:39:00.000-05:00

i started off good, writing in here everyday. i need to keep up, but i've been busy... or lazy. however you want to classify it, it resulted in me missing more than a week of entries.

recently, i've been forced to take a closer look at things and really think about how it is that i want to live my life. what i want to do, who i want to be, where i want to go, when i want to do these things, and who i want to be included. not who i want to be included in each step of my life, but who i want to be a part of my life in general. it sounds a little corny, but it's a big deal to me. actually, i think if it sounds corny, then you just haven't gotten there yet. you will. eventually you'll stop and think about everything that's going on with you. once you think you have everything figured out, that's when life smacks you back to reality. and you'll see that there's still a long way until it's all clear.

are we there yet? no.

if you pay close attention, there are many lessons to be learned each day. i try to pay attention. i think it makes a difference.

true happiness is a goal of mine. i was there once, but... i'm gonna say that didn't count. i'm always ALMOST there... but almost just isn't good enough anymore.

on a lighter note, the semester is almost over. 7 school days left until the conclusion of classes. i'm excited because i don't have any finals, so dec. 14th is really my last day of the fall semester. one more to go and i'm done with undergrad.

and i'll be right back for grad school. gotta keep the momentum going and stay on the education track while i still have the energy. i know some people are taking breaks before getting their master's. that's cool and i wish i could do the same, but i know me. i'll take a break from school, and enjoy myself too much and not wanna go back. my willpower is on low.

i can't wait til big bro comes back. just 3 more months. maybe 4. we'll see.

check out the destiny's child cd... track 9. if you don't have it, you can get it off me on my aol screen name if you do a "get file." that's where all my music is.

take heed: i am interested only in the present. if you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy person... life is the moment we're living right now. so stop worrying, stop wondering and just live.

Where The Sidewalk Ends

2004-11-23T14:47:00.000-05:00

let the countdown begin... my birthday is exactly 8 months away from today.
christmas... one month and 2 days.

i love counting down to things. it makes the time go by so much faster. and there's always some event to count down. on my instant messenger profile, i have a countdown of the time remaining in the fall semester. it's already down to 3 weeks... but i swear it feels like just yesterday that the count was about 10 weeks. the time really does fly.

so my teacher decided yesterday that it would be a good idea to cancel class for tomorrow. ya think?! of course it would! class isn't over til 5:15pm. nobody's gonna be in class on thanksgiving eve all late like that. everybody i know is going home or going out of town on wednesday night. thats just how it goes. oh well... at least i have a legit day off of class. that's a boost. it also gives me time to go shopping for my dress.

i still have to fold clothes. ugh.

my soda exploded today. yep. exploded all over me, my floor, my desk and my keyboard at work. so i call myself being creative. i attempt to clean the keyboard with 409. i then put it upside down on the floor so as to drain the liquid out from behind the keys. after letting it drip dry for a while, i got some air in a can from the supply closet. i tried to dry the keyboard with the air in the can. when i finished all the steps of this process, i looked at it and it looked fine. it even looked much cleaner than it did before the spill even occurred. so i was just about to pat myself on the back when i noticed something. as i typed, extra letters were being added. for example, when i typed the letter "s", what was displayed on the screen was "as4" when ALL I TYPED was "s". so i had to call up the trusty help desk that deals with computer issues. the guy came out to replace my keyboard in less than an hour, and now i'm typing on a brand new soft ass keyboard. oh its great. i love new keyboards.

oh and i love you too. but you knew that.

how excited am i! too excited. everybody keeps tellin me how good anthony hamilton is when he performs live. well, honey chile, now i get to see for myself. i wonder if he's looking for new talent. maybe i could be his back up singer or something. anything. just make me rich and famous.

well, more like... make me rich. i can do without fame. i just need the money. and i
wouldn't even do anything frivolous with the money either. just give me... let's say... $50,000 and i can stretch it. well, better make that $100,000. (since we're just givin away free money and all). for those that would like to donate to the 100k fund, just hit me up. all my contact info is on the left side of this page. i accept cash, checks, and money orders.

Drop It Like It's Hot

2004-11-22T11:45:00.000-05:00

sabri hit me up the other day! it was good to hear from her. i miss you too girl... keep doin your thang at vandy :)

my tooth has been hurting a lot lately. i think my wisdom teeth are coming in. i am not pleased.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER :) Her birthday was yesterday. (Nov 21st)

i didn't do much of anything yesterday. i slept until i couldn't sleep anymore. then i sat around until kb decided we should go to brunch. i too thought this was a grand idea. we made a quick trip elsewhere prior to embarking upon the predictable feast of the dining hall. by the time we returned, we lost all desire to step foot in that place. so we just went back up top.

"they look at you and they stare at you and they judge you." tim is hilarious.

i had a meeting with my group for my systems analysis class. i was a bit late, but they got nothing accomplished before my arrival anyway, so i didn't feel too bad. we brainstormed for about an hour, delegated duties, then called it a wrap. i enjoy gettin it done.

kb and i went to columbia mall where i returned previously purchased merchandise from forever 21. they don't give you refunds... only store credit, so i racked up on some accessories just because.

we tried the dining hall again. dinner was actually semi-pleasing. by the time we returned to the apartment, i was exhausted. i passed out while kb went to fashion show practice.

kb came back 2 hours later ready to go. so i got up, wiped the sleep out my eyes and we headed over to tim & cj's to retrieve the necessary materials.

when we returned, supreme came thru with more tasks to busy myself with. then i took my ass to bed.

see, i didn't do much yesterday.

Busy With My Laziness

2004-11-20T16:11:00.000-05:00

yesterday i was a bit busy, so i had no chance to catalog the happenings of my intriguing life. let's see if i can remember...

Thursday:
i went to work (late again, as i'm sure you know). i did nothing at work. i sat there and responded to emails and talked on the phone. you know how sometimes, you're just not in the mood? yea thats how i felt. it just wasn't a "work" day for me. a couple hours passed, then me and sherita went to the technology expo on base. it was slightly interesting. we left there to go shopping. i found a pair of cute ass boots on sale for less than half the original price. of course i bought them. we wanted wendy's for lunch, but we were so bored that we decided to go to the furthest wendy's ever so it would take up more time. we then went to myra's house to drop off her cd's. she gave me the list of events that we will need to attend during the thanksgiving weekend. we exchanged our promises to call each other later and sherita and i headed back to work because we had been gone for over an hour already.

work droned on for a couple more hours. omar called to tell me that somebody else wants me to work for them. if i accept this job offer, then that will bring my total job count to 6. thats right, 6 simultaneous jobs. (1 of them is being a student, but the rest are money paying jobs). and you wonder why i be so tired.

i came back to campus, and didn't even take a nap because i knew that would result in me sleeping thru class again. so i chilled with ray for a bit while she's all sick and stuff. i gave her my theraflu so she could feel better. i hate to see her sick. we chit chatted about the miscellaneous as we always do, then i went back to my spot to meet up wit kb so we could walk to class together.

yea, so we got 2 feet down the hill when i realized i didn't have my phone on me. major no-no. so we went back to get it and decided to skip class in favor of pregaming. we planned to pregame with cordgy but she was taking a while to get back to her apartment and we wanted to get to the club where the drinks were free and constantly flowing. so i hit up cj and told him he could ride wit me and kb to free-drink-land. and we're off.

and we're clubbin... and we're dancin... and we're drinkin... havin a good ol time.

there was a fight at the let-out. i didn't see it, but i was informed a couple hours later. let's get it together people.

so... now its 3:13am and i have to be up at 5am. do you think i can do it?

Friday:
hell naw i couldn't do it. and i didn't even go to work either. hahaha... by the time i woke up, it was damn near 9am, and i just can't go to work that late. it's too much for the brain.

so instead of going to work, i went to the mall with ray. this totally supports my "be productive as a substitute for doing what you're supposed to do" theory because going to the mall is always the right thing to do. oh and today is pay day too... sheeeit. its time to be "hood rich" as sabri would say.

returned from the mall an hour or so later (ray had to be back cause it was her lunch hour... otherwise that trip would have lasted much longer) and i was soooooooo frickin tired. i felt like i hadn't slept in days. i went to supreme's room to chill wit him for a bit, and fell asleep shortly after.

supreme had to go home to take care of some paper work. i didn't have plans for the afternoon, so i told him i would ride with him. cj, supreme and i piled into the car and headed towards pg for a quick trip. during the ride there and back, we discovered trick daddy's cd is not what's hot, and eminem has officially lost it. just listen to em's cd and you'll know what i mean.

when we got back, i had to do some work. i finished that quickly cause i'm good at what i do.

e. lynne and i had planned to chill. her friend is here from... howard? i think it's howard. yea, so... we chilled.

moving on...

OH MY GOODNESS!!! can we talk about the fight that occurred during the game!!! (nba, not umbc) it was an all-out brawl. i've never seen such. players versus fans... cops, security and miscellaneous people involved. i really couldn't believe my eyes. that shit was crazy.

and on that note... i'm off to nap-central.

I'm Hyper Man!

2004-11-18T14:23:00.000-05:00

how hyper can one be? shit. i've been like this since last night. bouncin off the walls and whatnot like i'm going crazy or something. i have no idea why.

last night was cool tho. again, i slept right thru class. (i need to stop doing that) i woke up and thought about all the shit that i had to do and immediately felt a headache approaching.

so i was supposed to have a meeting at 6pm with Jonae, but she's sick, so i was informed that it will have to take place later this week. (i'm not too sure what that means, because it's already thursday... i don't know how much later we can get in the week) but it's all good Jonae... get better soon. i'll just bug you some other time.

then, cordgy had a program at 7pm... but i didn't go on time or anything like that... had to chillax for a bit. supreme and his crew, or "gangsta's in training" as he called them, came thru (for marble cake) and stayed a bit. played a game of texas somethin or other. i retreated back to my room for some leftover uno's pizza and dave chappelle comedy hour. which reminds me... i need to finish watching that when i get back to school so i can stay hip and down with the people.

the roomie had fashion show practice... we bullshitted til it was really time to go and our lazy asses drove down to chesapeake/patapsco from west hill. i dropped kb off (also known as the roomie) at her practice and high tailed it to chesapeake for a free home cooked meal.

oh gracious... and a home cooked meal is what i got. i didn't even eat down there because i wasn't hungry (remember, i ate the uno's pizza just an hour before) but i sure did take a plate to go. well, not a plate exactly. it was more like a foil tray of food AND a dessert box. oh and some plastic cups. free stuff just always tastes better. i think it's cause you feel like you've hit the jackpot of some sort.

when i initially arrived, the front desk people weren't tryin to let jenger in, so i worked my magic and made it happen. i'm just too cute. jenger said she needed to talk to me, but wanted to do so in a sit down fashion, so we decided to meet up later to discuss her issues.

there was also a program going on simultaneously in terrace. this was actually the program that i co-sponsored, so it was imperative that i be there. so me and angela high-tailed it from chesapeake to terrace to put in our 2 cents on living on your own. (thats what the program was about) there wasn't a great turnout, but i expected as much seeing as how there was another program that involved REAL FOOD that was going on at the same time. that's usually the way it goes. people go where the food is, and i can't say i blame them.

we finished up at terrace and drove (yes, drove) back down to chesapeake to catch the end of the food program. it was clean up time, so i helped pop balloons then bounced out. i walked thru the lobby to make my exit and i saw a friend that i hadn't seen in a while so i kicked it wit him for a bit. i called kb and told her to come thru after her practice so we could drive back up to west hill together.

bother-boy calls, and i'm reluctant to answer the phone, but i must stay professional. i just tell him to holla at me when he gets on campus. luckily supreme was around so i didn't have to rush back to my spot.

kb and gene come thru for a second or two. he educates us on the 3 hole rule then we depart from good ol' chesapeake for our journey back up top.

i drop off part of my home-cooked treasure at the apartment of the "gangsta's in training." i get thank you's and proceed on with my night.

kb is still standin outside the car talkin to these dudes. they introduce themselves and then ask for my food. one track minds, i swear. but i say yes to their requests nonetheless. i have a problem with saying no. i need to work on that. anyway, they didn't take the food, but gave me thank you's for the thought. they left to go to their apartments while me and kb went to get ready to go to a party in pg.

jenger hits me up on the trusty sidekick. gotta go back to my room now so we can discuss girly things and i can be there for the active listening and understanding portion of the evening. at this point, i thought we could still make appearances at the party. its only 10:30pm.

jenger and i have our conversation. now it's after midnight, and i ain't goin no where. kb already changed into her chill-wear, and i was ready to call it a night myself.

i had to give supreme a gold star before i went to bed though. just wanted to give him a lil encouragement cause i be proud of him at times. this was just one of those times.

back to the apartment for glorious sleep. and guess what? i still overslept this morning. haha... that will never change.

Guess Who's Bizack

2004-11-17T16:56:00.000-05:00

yes... soo.... i'm back. i haven't done this in so long, that i had to start a whole new page because the last post i made to the other one was in january 2003. so let's just say thats the end of that one.

a lot of shit has changed since then. that was practically 2 years ago. but since i write for me and my enjoyment, there's really no need to spend much time on what's happened in the past. as it stands, i'm all about now and later. which also happens to be a candy that i enjoy quite a bit.

so here i am... my 5th and final year as an undergrad at UMBC. i don't think you know how excited i am that this shit is about to be over. the whole school thing is growing tired by the hour and i just can't take it anymore. well, i'll be back for grad school in the fall, but that's a whole different ball game.

this semester i'm taking the least amount of credits that i have taken in a semester since i've been here. at first i felt somewhat loser-esque because i'm not slaving over my studies and this is my senior year. then i thought about it, and now i say to hell with it. its my last year dammit. and one of these semesters in this (my 5th year) was gonna have to be easy or... laid back, if you will. and that semester is this semester because i'm - dare i say - chillin.

wouldn't it be great if you could look back at some document of sorts and there is a list of all the things you did way back when? i think so.

yesterday, i went to work and fought my everlasting desire to sleep.

sidenote: am i the only one that loves to sleep? don't get me wrong... i also enjoy chillin with my friends, and watchin movies, and shopping, and partyin... and long walks on the beach (haha) just like the rest of the population, but TO SLEEP is pure bliss. maybe it's because i be so tiiiiiired at the end of the day... or shit... even the middle of the day.

anyway, i went to work, came home and was so prepared to go to class at 5:30. i just needed a slight boost in the form of a quick nap to get me going for the learning portion of my day. so... i lay down. and of course i get up in time for class... but then i roll over and sleep until 6:30 or so. napped right thru class. dammit.

so i say ok. now i have to do something productive. (i believe if you don't do something that you were supposed to do, ie: go to class, work, clean, etc., then you should do something productive in the place of said missed event. it all balances out this way) so... aha! its 6:30.. time for me to register for the last semester of my undergrad career. courses added and... done.

it's tuesday so it's staff meeting night. tonight we're having a thanksgiving dinner of sorts and i'm in charge of the stuffing.

i go talk to derek for a few about boys and girls and all the things they do. we love this topic. if you don't know derek you need to introduce yourself.

so we're talkin right outside of supreme's apartment, so i decided to stop by and say hello. he's chillin wit his brother, shootin the shit. is it normal to NOT spread your peanut butter and jelly on the bread when you're making a sandwich? i guess some just like the ball of flavor in the middle.

it's 8pm. you know what that means... my wife and kids on abc.

now its 8:30... i chilled with the roomie for a bit. she had to go to the library to finish up a paper for class and i had to get on with the making of the stuffing. so we parted ways after sippin a bit of alcohol between us.

staff thanksgiving. good food, good times.

now its late as hell and i KNOW that my ass has to be up early in the morning but i decide to go back over to supreme's spot. i'm armed with a plate of food, a sweet potato pie, a pound cake and 2 cans of soda. his brother and his brother's roommate is there so we chill for a bit then decide to step off campus.

we run past crown then go to the chill spot where we lunch off of any and everything that comes to mind. i don't want the party to end, but mama's gotta go to sleep. so i bid the boys adieu and retire to my floral scented room and crawl under my lavendar comforter.

oh and i overslept this morning. haha... oh well. it don't matter how many hours of sleep i get, i still manage to oversleep.

i lead such an exciting life.