Too Blessed

ok ok... so i have a bad habit of good intentions. what's wrong with good intentions, you ask? well the bad part comes in when you don't follow through. i am always there for the big things, but for the little things (especially if it's for me) i slack at times. case and point: blogspot. it's not for you, it's for me. and i need to write more. it makes me feel better when i'm having bad days.

but then again it's hard to put my feelings into words when i'm that upset. i'm not upset now though. i'm content. not the best place to be, but also not the worst. i'm too blessed to be stressed. i just need to work on believing that all the time.

so. although i'm excited as hell to graduate, i'm also scared as hell. the scary part just kicked in... yesterday. shit man. i'm bout to GRADUATE. yes, i have a job, and yes i have an idea of the possibilities of future schooling, but... damn. you do understand that once undergrad is over, you are viewed as an adult? you can argue with me til you're blue in the face, but that's what i believe. yes we're all over 18, so TECHNICALLY we're already adults, but once you graduate from college... once you hit 22 or 23 years old... childhood is over and done with. i'm not ready to be an adult per se. let me re-phrase that. yes, i'm ready to reap the benefits from adulthood, but i'd rather go without the responsibilities. like... paying bills. haha... yea that's my biggest issue.

i want to buy a house in the next few months. my aunt (who also doubles as my real estate agent - need a house? holla at me and i'll patch you through to her) told me that i need to be able to afford $1500 a month for mortgage. $1500 a month? got damn. so yes, it's doable. but i'll be sittin in my house doin nothin because i won't have any extra money to go out or have fun or even eat. i definately must have fun. i must. so instead of this summer, we're looking at january 2006. stay tuned for the house warming invite.

so i'm into that star song by the roots. i do love the roots. always have.

oh and my computer is working now! well actually, it isn't working, but i have a new one. new to me. so far it's a free computer. i called the previous owner so i could give her some money for it, but she still has yet to call me back so i guess she don't care. no problem. if she doesn't care, then neither do i.

i have a gmail account now. i feel kind of important. because you can only have a gmail account if you are invited. the "importance" of it all will soon fade with time. but for now i feel like i'm some sort of hot shot. bear with me.

i have a meeting today at 4pm. that sucks because i was tryin to dip the hell out at 4. i have another meeting tonight at 10, but it's not at NASA. it's in DC, so i wanted to go back up to school and take a long ass nap cause i know i'm gonna be up all night. them boys can talk. yes and i might be at all star weekend in february. i'll find out all the details to that tonight. i might have some conning and buttering up to do in order to go, but i'm sure it will be worth it. somebody owes me money anyway... we won't name names (hint hint) but i'm sure it will cover the cost of my air fare.

ah well. lemme transition back into work mode so i can continue to blow these people away with my unmatched skills.

love you lots! until next time...